I decided to blog all my crazy, weird dreams. I usually find them funny, sometimes disturbing, whatever. They're here for your entertainment. Enjoy!

Monday, December 6, 2010

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Mon 7/26 - Tue 7/27

I don't remember much about this one, just that I was wearing some skimpy Jack Sparrow costume at a country club & the owners of the last company I worked for were there. One of the owners & I had handguns, and mine was much larger than his. We were shooting holes into the top of a post on a bannister that had the knob-thing broken off. The bullets were wood & looked like the little wooden pegs used to put together do-it-yourself furniture. His sunk deeper than mine, despite me having a larger gun. That sounds mildly perverse, but I'm pretty sure it was not sexual in nature. Can't remember much more than that.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Sun 7/25 - Mon 7/26

Can't remember a whole lot about this one, but it was bizarre. There were about a half dozen elephants in this giant tank of water, and they were being boiled alive. The scientists that were doing it were "proving" that the elephants' skin was so thick & so tough that they could survive being boiled alive. The elephants were alive, but very, very obviously in pain & distress. I wondered how come their eyes were still okay. Their skin started to crack & they were bleeding. All around a very disturbing dream.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Friday, July 23rd - Saturday, July 24th

My dream starts with me at a really large cabin in the middle of the woods with all my family. My oldest brother is trying to do a magic trick in which he has placed a 21-dollar-bill that he made in the middle of an intact, peeled pear. I'm his covert assistant. Part of the trick involves him throwing it in the air & letting it hit him in the head, to prove the pear is still intact. Unfortunately, something goes wrong with the trick, and a ball made of rubber that was inside the pear (holding the 21-dollar bill) explodes, and was like a water balloon popping on my brother's head. He's embarrassed, because his trick failed in front of everyone, and starts discussing with my dad what went wrong...something about the type of rubber he used.

While they're talking, a centaur enters the scene, and it's after me & my horse (I'm now on a horse—which understands English). Its face looks something like Medusa's in the OLD Clash of the Titans movie, after it turns to stone, only male, not female. We take off running (no more Red Dead Redemption before bed). The centaur is easily half again as big as my horse, and is gaining on us.

I get the brilliant idea that my horse is a stunt horse, and I know of a cabin nearby with lots of stairs, and my horse can run up the stairs, and the centaur won't be able to. The perfect escape. Except I was wrong. The centaur goes right up the stairs behind me, but I'm a good distance ahead of the centaur now somehow. When I get to the 3rd or 4th floor, I get off my horse & go into a room, and lock the door—both deadbolt & doorknob. I figure now I'm safe, because the centaur a) will go right on by the closed door, and b) won't be able to open the door, anyway. Ha—you bastard! I have opposable thumbs!! But alas, the centaur knows somehow that we are in this room, and just starts to kick the door down. Once he has a large hole in the door, he sticks his head in, The Shining-style, and sure enough, he now has Jack Nicholson's face. I don't remember what he said, but it made me realize that he was after my horse, not me. I am able to convince my horse it needs to jump out the window (very large picture window) onto the balcony, and go down the outside winding staircase & escape—because it can run faster if I'm not on it. So my horse finally jumps through the glass, and just crashes through the floor of the balcony, hitting wooden beams and stairs & other junk on its plummet to the ground. It's dead. The Centaur had followed, and received the same fate, except that death freed the human half from the horse, and was really just some nice guy—who didn't die. Then I woke up.

That's everything as best I can remember.